Kays Translations

Chapter 86 – A Super Cool and Dapper Old Gentleman

The old medicinal tonic—sort of like a traditional herbal liquor—that I secretly gave to Hakase-san turned out to be extremely effective.

So effective, in fact, that Hakase-san exclaimed:

“What is this? An all-purpose potion…?!”

Well, to be fair, he’s not wrong. That stuff is made by soaking all kinds of medicinal herbs in alcohol to extract their medicinal properties.

It has a long history, and plenty of loyal users. The synergistic effect of the raw herbs is amazing.

The researchers conducted a sort of human experiment on people who were suffering from the double onslaught of menopausal symptoms and a mysterious illness, and asked those who jumped at the offer to try something that might help alleviate their symptoms to cooperate, with the advice kept strictly confidential.

Because, really, that inexplicable heaviness in your shoulders, and emotional weight you can’t really understand is just awful.

I remember how severe my shoulder stiffness used to be.

It was so bad that if some spiritual scammer told me, “You’re being haunted by a vengeful spirit,” I probably would’ve believed them. It felt like the gravity of the Earth was stronger on me alone, and like I had a stone statue sitting on my shoulders. When I went to the hospital and explained my symptoms to the doctor, I said, “I feel like I’m being smothered by a Konaki jiji.” They laughed at me. It’s no laughing matter.

My older cousin had intense hot flashes—she’d be drenched in sweat, her pajamas and even her sheets would be soaking wet. The worst part about night sweats is that even though you’re burning hot, you suddenly get chilled from the dampness and start shaking.

I mean… It’s not like you’re forging iron by heating and cooling it. We’re human, so please stop.

And then there’s the irrational irritability—the kind you can’t even control. It was overwhelming. And right after that, the sudden wave of gloom—getting stuck thinking about things there’s nothing you can do about and spiraling downward emotionally.

But come to think of it, ever since I came here, I haven’t been plagued by those issues.

Hooray for the Adaptation Skill.

Still, while the medicinal liquor worked wonders, there was a limit to the amount I could give.

Also, since it is alcohol, it’s not something you can give to children.

…Ah! That’s right—plum extract worked really well for me too.

Well, if it’s plum extract, I think I still have some.

“Lately, it’s even spreading to small children…”

Hakase-san looked deeply troubled. Yeah… I don’t want children to suffer because I hesitate.”

At the very least, plums have plenty of medicinal properties, after all. Better to regret doing something than regret doing nothing.

“Hakase-san, I have another favor to ask of you.”

I figured Kirara and Mimi would agree.

When I came home and apologized for making the decision without consulting them first:

“If it’s going to help people, use it all you like. You can even give them my share of the plum jam.”

Kirara was incredibly generous.

And Mimi too

“I don’t like being in pain, so I think it’s fine.” She said.

As it turns out, the plum extract worked amazingly well too, which meant I was finally able to use up all the plum wine, plum syrup, plum extract, and plum jam that I had been storing in the basement.

This is, how should I put it…

Kirara’s sacred tree fruit turned out to be ridiculously powerful.

I mean, we eat that stuff every day…didn’t we?

Even the plum jam had astonishing effects.

Hearing that the kids bounced back to full health immediately made me so happy.

But then…

“Even pre-existing illnesses and injuries seem to have healed…”

Hakase said, gazing into the distance. “What’s that?” I looked away with the same distant gaze.

Yeah… I kinda get it.

And so, while it was only a symptomatic treatment, the strange illness that had spread throughout the town was brought under control for the time being.

A cause for celebration.

It’s a happy occasion, but.

…But still. As talented as Hakase-san is, as skilled as he is at crafting advanced potions, there’s a limit to how long he can keep covering for me.

Also, the capital is apparently suffering from a much worse outbreak than our town.

Which brings us to:

“I’m Neg, Head of the Alchemy Guild. We need to talk.”

I found myself getting approached—almost flirted with—by an incredibly cool, dapper old gentleman, with an apologetic-looking Hakase-san in tow. He’s very much my type, but I have a feeling this is going to be a bit of trouble.

“So… you just happened to get hold of some miraculous medicinal fruit and processed it by chance?”

“That’s right. It’s just pure coincidence.”

　

Honestly, I just harvested the fruit that happened to grow there because it would be a waste to throw it away.

I had no idea it had medicinal value. It’s plums—they’re delicious. It would be a waste to let them rot.

Behind me, Hakase-san’s eyebrows drooped like wilted flowers. Ah, I see. Even he can’t justify that explanation.

“And the super-potent Yogimogi-Sashimo—that was also just by chance?”

Neg asked with a grin.

“Total coincidence.”

When I answered, Harukase-san behind me facepalmed his hand to his forehead, sighing.

Uh-oh.

Was that… a trick question?

I’m terrible at sudden interrogations like this. I used to hate job interviews. In face-to-face situations like this, I’m the type of person to accidentally blurt out things I’m not supposed to say.

Seeing me flounder, Hakase-san tried to help me out of the difficult situation.

“By the way, during the festival, I saw you wearing a beautiful Yogimogi Sashimo dyed shawl. Who dyed it?”

Smooth topic change. Thanks, Hakase-san.… I mean, so even Harukase-san could see it, huh? I really thought I had disguised myself well.

“That was something I borrowed from a friend named Jill-san.”

The dye work… now that I think about it, I remember him saying that it was an alchemist who dyed it.

‘He’s a smug old bastard, but his skills are top-notch.’

I could hear Grandpa Jill’s voice echo in my mind.

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